I think now this counts in this section:

Just realized my $1000/year Point of Sales system we use at work changed the cash register program's lead page. And then realized they totally stole 2 stock photos off iStockphoto.com. The cross-out and watermark is still clearly visible lol:
They just redrew some of the barcode lines
The photos cost $8 tops

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So I email their listed support email:

Really lol? You can’t pay for 2 $8 photos?

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Early Monday morning response:

Hi Michael,

Haaaa, absolutely no one noticed this. The 2 photos from iStock were purchased after a mock up was done. Actually, we had probably 10 different ones we downloaded and decided on these 2. I am the one that selected the file, and it was named similar to the one with the purchased licenses.

The next update will contain the correct pictures. Good job on the research…

Mark (owner)
ShipRite

Awesome. You use some real high quality POS software there.

don't be fooled. POS does NOT stand for Point of Sale in this instance...

I never seem to read POS as Point of Sale

Off to a really bad start in 2011 so far.

Survey Satisfaction Comments Jan. 1-14, 2011
- Virgil was able to help me very promptly, and efficiently.
- Virgils response to me was immediate. And he completed what I had requested within 30 min. It was wonderful.
- Very Knowlegible and took time to make sure that everything was working properly and wanted to make sure before the call ended that all my issues and concerns had been addressed!
- Virgil is always so helpful and professional.

You're screwed.

Uh oh V, you got Identity Thefted

Oh my gosh I got a serious laugh out of that! Thanks!

When I'm on live chat with tech support and they answer the question correctly I like to type, "You may have won this time! But I'll be back Buwah ha ha ha!" and then click out quick

Why do new customers come into stores and try to bust you down on price because they've "shopped around and I know you can do better."
Just go to the other store, or I can waste both our time by actually saying, "Just go to the other store."

Also after telling a designer you want "the cheapest business card available, but can you make me a custom logo," and then he says "sure but I'll have to charge you for at least ten minutes of design," the optimal thing to say is not, "My son can do that in 2 minutes, he's real good with computers."
I'll waste both of our time by telling you, "I appreciate your enthusiasm in my work. I'm interested in seeing what he comes up with."

Same customer. And after all that he stayed in the store for 35minutes with my business card book trying to find a way to completely customize a completely non-customizable cheapest business card template.

A customer has tried 3 times unsuccessfully to attach a file in an email for me to print
So I tell her to just come in and print it here straight from her email
She comes in and logs in to her account and i let her be.
5min later i hear her call out, "Now how do i access my hard drive?"

hahahahaha best thing I've heard all day.

Best thing heard by Chris all day? "Fwap fwap fwap..."

K7VZ wrote:http://clientsfromhell.net/

Virgil for the win. This is killing me. I'm sure Mike could add to it. Sadly, I've been on both sides of some of these conversations. LOL Good find, V.

Hey now, I'm here to help!

10:27 AM Brittany
Can you tell me what the BART system is for?

10:27 AM Virgil
Asset tracking.

10:28 AM Brittany
Examples of what it can do possibly?

10:28 AM Virgil
Track assets.

10:28 AM Brittany
lol thanks virgil

...it's because we are "working from home".

7:12 AM Gabriel - gm, just wanted to let you know that I will be working from home for a few hours and then I will be heading into the office.

7:12 AM Virgil - Ok. I'll be working from the office for a few hours and then heading home. haha.

Andres
I forgot to tell you
few weeks ago I was working on Mike Brown's laptop
worked on his laptop for a few days. It ended up being a dispatch. So on the last day I restored all his files and setup VPN and all that
then when I was finally done, he shoke my hand and said "Thanks Virgil"

Virgil
I'm that good!

I'm not sure which rule this is, but it's one of the top 5. Keep them on edge. haha.

3:15 PM Virgil -I'm coming out there.
3:15 PM Caryn -uh- oh
3:15 PM Virgil -That's good.
3:15 PM Caryn -lol- good