I'm not actually upset, just telling how the story went down. I'd still do it again. Well maybe if my inhaler were with me this time.
I just almost pushed a car all the way back to Mexico. At least I think now that's where he was trying to actually go.
Poor guy blocking all kinds of traffic and me trying to pushing in my sandals. He didn't speak a lick of English and for some reason left his hood up and immediately tried to steer back into the traffic weaving around on his right when there was a perfectly good turn lane on the "LEFT!!! LEFT!!! GO LEFT!!!" Apparently that sounds like stop so brakes went on and he gets back out. Well at least I can get him to put the hood down now. Back on the move with him inside and we get into the middle turn lane but apparently now we are going to go all the way to the light. I roll with it and when we beautifully manage to get under the light just in time to catch the gap in the opposing traffic the brakes go on again and he tries to get out. "NO NO!! KEEP GOING KEEP GOING!!!" Restarting now with all momentum lost we make it out of the traffic's path just in time but instead of stopping at the curb on the side street (despite my yelled direction), we keep going in the middle of the street. I can't stop pushing now because he won't get over near the sidewalk, so on we go on down to the next street where he turns again. Oh phew it's a cul de sac. Wait what? What is this guy's fear of curbs? He finally comes to a stop almost in the middle of the 'sac but still sideways enough to block someone's driveway.
I might as well have asked the moon if it needed jumper cables (I think even it would understand my mimed gestures). I hiked back to the X to get it and them anyway. I jumped his car and it started as two Mexican women he had presumably called showed up. At least one of them was able to say "Thank You."